For some that take it for granted or don’t see the value of marriage when you can get the milk for free. Let’s ponder that thought for a moment. One can ask why waste your time with marriage when you have so man options without enduring the heartaches that go along with it.
Well if you look at the quality of life issues that are a benefit to marriage when you approach it with the best of intentions. I say the best of intentions because that is a quantifier. It’s the value that you attach to the relationship that matters.
I was not aware of the intensity of feelings and emotions that goes along with being committed to someone. Yes you made a vow to deal with someone through better or worse. But are you aware of the role that you play in the challenges that unfold. The issues that you are blindsided with that show you characteristics of yourself that lie within you.
You made a vow to deal with someone that God has entrusted you withto cling to and advocate for regardless to their faults and shortcomings because you are both imperfect beings and you have to embrace one another and grow into your greater self. In the midst of everything else that is going on in and around you.
You are not aware of the role that you have consistently played in the elevation or diminished returns that you are getting. Marriages start off on a high note and the momentum can and does change. There are other things to contend with as the honeymoon phases gives way to the realities of living.
You start to look at each other in a more comprehensive way and express the famous words: “I didn’t sign for this.” These are her sentiments as well is amazing what couples put themselves through but somehow if you are determined you can get through the series of mountains that you will have to get through.
Whatever you are going through you can go through and grow through. Its a choice that you make everyday on how you are going to deal with each other. Its good to get clarity on things that are a part of life and and the nuts and bolts of life. Because somethings are a deal maker or breaker: financial; children; time together to name a few.
Both parties bring their preconceived notions and expectations about the management of a marriage. Let’s not forget the importance of communication and conflict resolution styles. Yes their is the honeymoon and the courtship time but its when you get down to the nitty gritty of leaving with someone in each other personal space that is when the rubber hits the road.
When you are going through the life experiences and everything is coming at you including the kitchen sink will you rise to the occasion or will you concede to defeat. So many couples concede to defeat and then is the couples that allow themselves to be compromised and become indecisive about putting forth the effort to overcome that moment that seems to be unrelenting but needs to stop.
Marriage is not for the faint hearted but its a classic example of the reinvention and the renewing of the mind. Whatever the issues and concerns that you deal with you made a vow to prevail. Taking time out to be honest with your needs are is critical. There will be times when there will be an impasse and what you do at that point is critical to the sustainability of the relationship.
We are all challenged and it shows in every facet of our being including marriages. Now is the time to go forward with something new and different and change the narrative of how we deal with ourselves and one another up close and personal.
The African proverb states that the ruin of a nation begins in the home. In contrast I would like to add that the ruin of a nation beings in the home as well. We owe it to ourselves and one another to live a full and abundant life and bring out the best in one another.
Marriage is a sacred act decreed by God, and the Creator expects more out of us than what he is getting. Being love and kind draws us closer to the source that we came from. We have suffered needlessly at our own devices.
Calvin Thompson offical blog 